On my last post, I thought I was losing it. Then I received many kind words and encouragement. Thank you to all.

Since then, I blocked my work calendar everyday first thing in the morning for two sessions of 30 minutes in the day just for expressing milk and an hour for lunch. I am still online working but if I am not, I took a breather just to get my sanity back. It worked wonders.

Last week, a contact introduced me to a recruiter that has a role on hand. Banking in technology function, ok I have more than 6 years in banking and I am working in one of the tech giants now. Written communications, newsletters etc yup.. Talent management, yeah 7 years in HR…

Then I decided not to waste the recruiter’s time by trying for the role and reject it later if I do get it. Although it pays 50% more, it would bring my pay scale back to where I left off before taking a career break but I am not sure if it will be a better decision.

Though stressful, I get to work from home and see my baby as and when I feel like it at home now. Plus, I deal with corporate social responsibility and is currently working on Covid-19 relief and response for many countries. A calling perhaps and I enjoy being able to give back to society on a day to day basis.

The conversation I had with the recruiter gave me an opportunity to reflect what I want now and I felt privileged to be able to choose what I want to do. It also gave me the confidence and I felt proud of my little achievements. I’ve come a long way.

Work aside, I have been getting out late at night to the gym. This #anytimefitness concept is great. I wait for my husband to get back home and I head out to the nearby gym after emptying my boobs late at night.

That being said, I do not want to leave my baby alone with my helper because I am not convinced she is able to communicate when an emergency arises.

As much as I want to have a decent conversation, it currently is limited to, “This one, that one can cook, wipe, mop here, baby finish or did not finish his milk, bath.”

Anything else, I only get a smile and a blank expression. Hence, managing expectations is important. Repeat after me, “No expectations, no disappointments.”

I just want to say, I really understand why some people abuse their domestic helpers but I would never go to such extent. I will probably send them away.

Right now, I am still assessing if I need a helper. My boy turns six months next week and I have been contemplating to enrol him in infant care. I can engage a part time cleaner like before and don’t need a live in helper.

Be patient, I tell myself. I need clearance from several specialists to state I am in the pink of health again. I can’t wait for my medical appointments. I can’t wait till the end of the month. When September ends, I will get more clarity and hopefully I will be happier…