Out of Office meant away on a holiday with no access to emails pre-covid.

Now, out of office means staying at home and spending time with the 8 month old.

A few weeks back, I felt like I could not cope with my work anymore and I submitted my resignation. So, I had a chat with my manager. Instead of accepting my resignation, she asked me to go offline and rest. When I logged on, I found that I was put in BCC for all my emails to “save my inbox”.

I felt uneasy. Good that I don’t need to worry about work but this means that I am dispensable. Nobody is indispensable. Nothing new to me since I went through retrenchment cycle four years ago. The worst thing about being in HR that time was, we had to make sure everyone was exited professionally before we exit ourselves. It’s ok. Let someone else can pick up the slack while I am away.

Currently, I am on hospitalisation leave after my cardiac catheterisation procedure and will only return to work next week. I felt like I am shortchanging my manager since I already took 16 weeks of paid maternity leave this year as well, hence I was reluctant to take more leave days.

With some effort, I stopped logging on and I have not done any work since 23 Oct and I did not submit any leave officially (Yes, I still get paid). I logged on, set my out of office and auto reply and logged off. I think I am extremely lucky to be working in a company and with an understanding boss.

Never try never know. I will recommend everyone to try having a conversation first before shutting down the option and throwing in the letter. Nonetheless, it is also good to have a back up plan and execute your plan if the conversation did not work out. After all, not all managers are open to conversations.

Manager: You should have told me of your condition earlier.

SG Auntie: I did not want to play the sympathy card.

I am sure many of us encountered people who are energy vampires who kept sharing how bad their situation is and everyone cut them some slack for underperformance or simply being annoying. I never felt that personal stuff is an excuse for underperformance. Maybe it can be.

Go rest. Take leave. Log off. Ignore. Easier said than done. I used to advice others without thinking twice, but when I am faced in the same situation, I wished I am able to heed my own advice so readily. Together with my annual leave, medical and childcare leave, I will effectively be away from work for five to six months for this year. Not bad in monetary terms but not too good for future work references.

The longer I spend in corporate environment and the older I get, the more I felt like I should behave responsibility by not taking so unnecessary leaves. Then again, unnecessary is subjective.

Time flies when I stay home and I dread going back to work next week. Maybe it’s time to change to a new and slower paced environment. However, it is important to note that there is shit in every environment and job. Do I want to take on more shit for more salary or less shit for less pay? Never mind… Where did I save the latest version of my CV?