Apparently I exhausted all my treatment options hence I was given the choice to go for hysterectomy.

I had this condition diagnosed called adenomyosis when I was 29 by a specialist. I sought treatment and second and third opinions which all led to “sorry, there is no cure.” It will only worsen with time.

What was painful about adenomyosis? Prolonged periods like bleeding for 10 days and cramps for up to three days so much so that I had to check myself in to the hospital to get painkillers injections every month. It was affecting my work and life.

The condition may improve after having kids but the irony is, it is difficult to get pregnant and I may never have kids. Hence, IVF was the convenient option when trying to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy in 2016.

“You may consider removing your womb after you are done with child bearing,” the specialist said.

I remembered I went home crying after hearing that. It struck with me and this was probably the reason why I was not as shocked as it was nothing new to me and I was ready to go with this option this time. I might have been waiting for this for 10 years.

The situation with adenomyosis was very different this time. IUCD was inserted because it was risky to be pregnant after my pulmonary embolism episode. My womb enlarged so much so that the IUCD inserted in to for contraception and to control adenomyosis dropped out.

Injection for down regulation and oral hormone pills followed but they too did not manage stop the bleeding at all.

I was bleeding for four months before the gynaecologists gave me the go ahead for a hysterectomy. I was already bleeding for five months when I went through the procedure.

The medical team were hoping my uterus would have shrunk from an 18 weeks pregnant size to small enough for a keyhole surgery. That didn’t happen and I had to go through an open cut similar to a cesarean.

Why did I put myself through physical pain when I have enough on my plate amidst the chaos I am going through emotionally? I made the decision to go for surgery the day I found out about my husband’s infidelity.

Simply because I realised I’ve done enough for this man and it is time I need to look after myself now. There is a definite recovery period for surgery and it is an unknown for emotional damage. Sort out and start with the certain then deal with the variables later. I think I am holding on all right for now.

Hopefully my health and life will get better after this. I am so looking forward to my new life.

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year and or Happy Lunar New Year to you if you are celebrating during this season. Let’s roar into the brand new tiger year with courage together.