The funny thing is I am still staying under the same roof as the not so faithful man I chose to marry. I tried kicking him out again several times without any success.

The vengeful thing is I looked up sensual massage for ladies and all the more I know what it entails, the more I didn’t feel like going for it. I told him previously he had to accept me looking for the same services he did and look for other men if he wants me to consider staying in the marriage.

The tiring thing is I needed him to do the heavy lifting at home and having to live with his presence. It is becoming less draining but it does not mean he is off the hook.

The ironic thing is I actually felt happy when he made the effort to arrange for date nights and lie next to me and made small talks. Aren’t these basic for married couples? I immediately I felt sorry for myself for expecting too little.

The sad thing is one mistake in a relationship can write off all the good things and make everything else seem meaningless despite seeing efforts. It is too late to apologise when the irreversible damage has been done.

The only thing one has to do to remain faithful is NOTHING. You might as well spend the effort scoring brownie points from your other half than to cheat and trying to repair the damage later.

The scary thing is the realisation that I finally understand why people always say no men can be trusted fully, committed or not and no matter how long you think you know them. Never ever put your guard down.

The assuring thing is I got a job interview for a role I did not apply and clinched the job. Glad to know I still have value in the job market. They came calling and I thought I would need a job with stable income if I want a divorce in future.

The hard thing to admit is all that part time, self-employed or freelancer income is not going to help me pay a lot of my bills and beauty care for now since I will need a stable income. Anything else on top of that is a bonus.

The difficult thing is how do I quit my current part time job without appearing ungrateful and taking advantage of the people that has been nothing but nice to me? Tendering notice after my operation is quite similar to leaving a job after maternity.

The unthinkable thing is I told my husband I will leave the fate of our marriage in god’s hands based on our luck to get a place that is close to a good school for our son. Call this heaven’s will. The gods may be angry with me for pushing this to them.

The annoying thing is gurus say one has to find peace and happiness within themselves and can’t actually blame and depend this on others despite going through traumatic events in their life which I find some truth.

The thing is there are too many things going through my mind and life and I still don’t have the answers. When will drawing a lot at the temple be open sia? I need divine intervention.