有了孩子计划永远赶不上变化。Plans will never catch up with changes when you have a child.

Earlier last month, the little one had flu symptoms for a week and we kept him home before the pediatric diagnosed him with pneumonia. He probably caught it from someone in school who had pneumonia. Another five days of leave from school…

Barely recovering from it, he had mouth ulcers and couldn’t eat or drink. He probably caught HFMD from school as well as they had a few cases. Another week with a whiny child.

Earlier this week, he was sent back home after a mere 15 minutes due to blisters on his feet. A visit to the paediatric with written memo that HFMD is inconclusive because he only had red spots on his feet. No fever, no ulcers and no red spots on his hands. Probably skin irritation. Two days MC this time.

ARGHHHHHHHHH! I am going crazy.

Times like this drive me into a dilemma. I am glad I have a job that covers family medical. Part of me wished that I am not so I have all the time to take care and concentrate on my sick child.

When I signed up for parenthood I knew taking care of the child when sick is part of the package. I never regretted having a child but times like this made me wish I have the energy to look after my child physically.

I planned a day off from work to go for a massage or hair treatment or a visit to the Onsen. Needless to say, I never made it to any of it because my child is my priority.

I am exhausted af. My scalp itches and my back hurts to the extent that I had to roll over to get up. My arm gets numb from carrying the not so little one. The numbness made me worried that it may be a stroke.

I took a day off for today because I thought my child’s school is closed. Thank you for childcare leave but seriously, six days a year is not enough la. You calculate the number of my child’s sick days from above and tell me how many days I’m down already. What if I am a single mum? Can’t ask husband to take childcare leave…

As much as I lament about not having me time, I still feel that I am fortunate compared to many. We can afford to send the little one to playgroup in the day which allow us to go work in peace.

Although my in laws can’t help at all since they have problems moving around on their own, I can still ask my parents to help once in a while and best of all, I have a live in helper. Hate to admit that staying married to leverage on his sense of parental responsibilities makes my life easier.

Still, my parts are getting older and requires more maintenance so it would be nice to have some me time. I pity those who need to work and have no support. I don’t know how you people do it. Salute.

Sigh… Until the little one grows up, there won’t be a better solution for now. Son, mama’s world revolves around you. It is okay. Just know that whatever it is, I love you k.