Am I the asshole for refusing to attend his cousin’s wedding dinner?

I’ve never met this cousin. He said this cousin does not visit any relatives during Chinese New Year because the older folks had a falling out. Gambling debts and money issues. Since they don’t make the effort to keep in touch, you expect me to give a stranger blessing via money in a red packet?

“We are going as representatives of my family. My mum can’t go,” he said.

I suggested he attend with his sister. Why not right? Since they share the same relatives.

“My relatives haven’t met the little one yet,” he said.

I told him he can bring his son there. Remember to feed him and change his diaper on time and make sure he wears his mask. Bring the helper along if it is too troublesome. He (the husband) should also be prepared to stay home and look after his son if the little one fall sick after attending the wedding.

He has not given up on wanting us all to attend as a family still.

Fact is, I hated facing that side of his extended family.

Every year, every family member take turns to to ask me when I am having a baby.

Ectopic. Fertility issues. Not that you all understand what it is anyway. Yup. Keep telling me I’m not trying hard enough. Keep rubbing salt on my wound.

When I got pregnant and my boobs were full, I was told I shouldn’t wear my top anymore because I am exposing my boobs. KNN.

After I took a career break and was trying to get back in to corporate, one of his cousin who is an air stewardess said I was too picky and asked me go and apply as a teller if I want to go back to working in a bank. I remembered I told her barely a few minutes ago I used to work in HR in a bank and looking for related jobs.

Never mind…I just said I think I am overqualified.

Asking someone who used to work in a bank to apply as a teller is akin to asking someone who used to work in an airline to apply to be a flight attendant. Not everyone can do these roles. Get what I mean?

I decided to smile and shrug it off rather than invest time to explain further for a yearly meeting.

I posted on his Facebook early in the year how he cheated on me and his cousins saw it. Glad that you all know why I am not around as a family unit during such events. I’m not over it yet and I don’t want to make myself unhappy and uncomfortable by attending. I don’t feel like faking a smile for anyone.

You know what? I might not show up for Chinese New Year gathering next year too because I just remembered there are not enough seats in the car to ferry everyone.

I feel stressed thinking about it already. To improve my mood from being reminded of the mental stress caused by him and his relatives, I should treat myself to a nice massage session while they are out attending the dinner this weekend.