I binged watch Bling Empire New York last month on Netflix and I just have to say Vika is amazing. She is such a smart woman and I wished I knew what to do and had the courage to stop a marriage proposal when I was her age.

Best to stop it if you know what is going to happen and not in the right place or time in a relationship or state of mind.

If it did happen and somehow you know it’s not right or not going to work out, the answer should be a “no” or “not now”. Not say yes, hope he will change and see how it goes later.

My first marriage proposal from my ex husband came as surprise during dinner with his family members. I tried to avoid the question several times but was pressed for an answer by people on the table and I said yes in the end.

That’s why I told my current husband I prefer a private proposal and made it very clear I will walk away and he will be embarrassed if done in public.

Why did I say reject a marriage proposal if you know something is not right in the relationship?

I remembered I had a big argument with the ex husband before he proposed. I was really pissed that he kept saying no money to travel out of Singapore for a holiday, no money to get our own place together but was footing the bills at night spots every weekends for his supposedly rich friends.

It was also some time after I found out for the first time he cleared our joint bank account and incurred huge credit card debts. On top of footing the bill for everyone, he buy everything in instalments if he can. Financially it was so bad to the point that transaction for a $100 bill on credit card was rejected.

At that time, I broke up with him for the nth time and bought a plane ticket with the intention to visit my friend, drug lord just to clear my mind and decide what I wanted next.

I had the intention to stick to my plan even though we had already been dating for three years and there is pressure from family to take the next steps.

Maybe he will change for the better after marriage.

Maybe he will be honest since we are husband and wife.

Maybe he will stop partying and take care of his health to start a family.

Change the above “Maybe he will” to “Don’t expect him to”.

Somehow after much coaxing and numerous apologies, he convinced me to change my ticket to another city for a holiday together because “he really love me and don’t want to lose me”.

Truth is, he probably cannot afford both our plane tickets and accommodation were all provided asking his connections for free stays etc. I didn’t like any of this.

“I was really worried I will be stopped for a body check with the diamond ring at customs”, both men said. Both proposals I received were overseas.

Humph… Pfft.

Don’t be too happy over surprises. If he can plan and smuggle something out of the country without your knowledge in the name of surprises, he can do dishonest stuff behind your back too.

Like I said, two husbands, two proposals with rings brought out of the country… I know what I am talking about.

Soak yourself in happiness and believe you found your soulmate all you want. I’m not buying it.