Besides failing trying to fit in old dresses, there are several things that set me thinking about trying to fit in situations nowadays.

Previously, I briefly mentioned I felt like a minority in my own country. One of the reasons why I chose not to attend a birthday party with expat wives (AITA 05). I find it difficult to fit into their world and their lifestyle.

Should I just bear the discomfort, grow some skin and join in future? It probably wouldn’t work because they have high income earning husbands feeding their expensive pastimes. I don’t.

Nobody there works and they don’t bat an eyelid having to pay more than 5K a month on rent. It is more than my mortgage, groceries and transport combined.

Compared to these expats wives, I stick out like a sore thumb having three jobs (Full-time office, part time real estate and my events business).

Sometimes, I find myself working 16 hours a day and I am exhausted. I don’t have the luxury of time to go for spa, manicure and pedicure or hair treatment like them. Will they understand?

Unlike them, there is one thing I can’t bring myself to do. That is letting my helper spend all the playtime with my kid. What about strengthening the bond with the little one?

I am always among the helpers during evening walks and playground runs with kiddo so much so that I might be mistaken as a helper myself.

In another situation during one of my face to face property transactions where all parties were present, I found myself among neutralise Singapore Citizens. Everyone else besides me was born in Malaysia.

Once in a while they spoke in Cantonese which I barely understood. I did not like the feeling of being left out but what can I do? I just smiled and tried to complete the transaction professionally.

I know. We are all ethic Chinese but the feeling is different when you can’t communicate effectively.

Am I not capable enough in language skills? Is English and Mandarin inadequate in Singapore? Am I not trying hard enough to fit in? Shall I go pick up Malay or Cantonese ? Is there any point in doing so?

It has become increasingly common in the property world where many top earners who worked very hard were from somewhere else and stayed long term in Singapore. Some eventually call Singapore home.

Nobody new I meet now is born Singaporean anymore. Where is everyone? Overseas? Busy earning money and staying low profile because they don’t want others to know they have money? Or hiding because they got into trouble with the law? Doing food delivery?

It set me thinking. If I am uncomfortable in such occasional situations, what about the Malays, Indians and mixed races in Singapore who faced such situations (different race and different languages) on a daily basis? What do they do to fit in?

We say Singapore is a melting pot of people coming together with diverse backgrounds which makes us unique.

Sometimes, I just want to order my kopi-c siu dai and Hokkien mee in Singlish. Now, my kopi order is taken by a mainland Chinese or Filipino. I am sure they know how to do their job and take the order in local lingo but I find it hard to order like a local when they are standing in front of me.

Many stalls are owned by neutralise citizens too. Everywhere I go, traditional stalls are being replaced with mala dishes. How come Muslim owned stalls are not side by side local Chinese stalls anymore?

Singapore needs foreigners, they say. Our F&B, medical and service sector especially and I am glad we have them.

Whilst I celebrate the fact that there are many who make Singapore home but I can’t help and feel sad whenever I know of people giving up their citizenship. I think I am getting the idea and feeling why.

Is outside better and is that a solution? Wouldn’t it be more effort to fit in? How about racial discrimination?

With age catching up, I probably wouldn’t find out since I am getting too old to move countries.

I am still puzzled. I’ve never moved and I’m feeling the shift in daily life. Why do I have to try to fit in my country of birth?

Majulah Singapura?