“Can you please stop working so hard and take care of yourself,” said the husband after hearing me almost coughing my lungs out.

“I also want to stay home and spend my free time planning parties like our neighbour too. Can you afford?” I asked.

I was met with a solemn expression. He knew very well why I am working so hard.

Unlike many of his peers earning the same income who have homemaker wives and whose family survive on a single income, our family does appear different. I guess it hurts his ego telling people his wife is out hustling instead of staying home and not popping more kids.

If time and money allows, I would like to change my salutation to Mrs or Ms to Dr by doing a PHD.

Some people’s end goal is earning a lot of money. I like to collect qualifications. I like to learn but I don’t like exams and tests.

Full time work. Real estate work and my events management business. The past few months has been challenging and I was exhausted and easily irritable.

I get annoyed when people ask me to chill and relax. I will, just not now.

Now that things have quieted down a little, I am in a better mental and emotional stage to think and put it down in words.

Even with my ex husband in the circle of socialites and tycoons, it never occurred to me to stop working.

I prefer to be perceived as a hardworking and self sufficient independent woman than a homemaker surviving on her husband’s income.

I actually looked down on women to get rich from divorces. Some started their own businesses and investments after failed marriages.

Now that I am older, I think they are the smart ones having the time of their life and the last laugh.

这也是个本事。This is a capability.

Getting huge alimony is a capability and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

I did believe it was God’s way of telling me to slow down after my near death post delivery every experience. Mortgage is almost paid up. The place is quite close to good schools. Why work so hard? Alas, plans change.

We got a new place close to a good school which we wanted kiddo to attend.

A new home means new mortgage and the new place cost 3x more than the old. The only reason why I go back to full time work is because I need CPF to service the new mortgage and Medisave for hospital bills if anything happens.

There are people in real estate in their 70s and still out hustling. They are already successful and rich. Why are they still working? I have at least 30 years more. I can’t afford to stop.

I can understand why our thinking differs. Unlike the husband whose employment with the government ends at 50, he and his colleagues are counting down to (early) retirement. Can people in the private sector like me do that? No. It is a dangerous belief.