Nov 2023

Me: (Morning) Hey, where are we meeting later?

Me: (Afternoon) Any cravings?

Me: (Evening) I will be off work soon. Are we still meeting?

Me: CALLS x 3

Me: Hey babe, I haven’t heard from you and not sure what’s going on. I am heading home now.

This was how I got ghosted twice by the same person (first time was in 2019), so I was not too sure how I should feel when she reached out again this time after disappearing for almost a year.

She said she went overseas to work. Why did you arrange a dinner a week before then?

I did not want to let it slide this time because I made efforts to clear my calendar only to have my time disrespected. She is a single woman and I have a young child.

“Oh I must have missed your messages,” she responded.

Not convincing and I did not believe a word at all and I gave short replies thereafter.

She then came back with long messages saying how she did not feel I support her about the managers she did not get along well with but whom I love, respected and worked very well with in 2018.

Background: SHE REPLACED ME after I left for permanent employment. I recommended her for my job because she said she could not get along with her manager and is looking for another job.

Then, I chose not to go back to do the same role to replace her (2019) after her contract as I had another offer at the same company.

A week ago, after trying to chat and getting not much response from me, she added she will not contact me anymore as I do not empathise with her recent unemployment, not on her side with our ex managers, and she does not need negativity in her life.

*scratch head* I did not even know she was unemployed since we did not even have much of an exchange.

I guess the only thing I did wrong was to recommend you to a job when you needed one. I am sure working at a big tech company did nothing to help you in securing better paying roles thereafter.

What can I support you with? If you think I will join and talk shit about people who have been nothing but kind to me, then I am the wrong person to expect that from.

If you always can’t work well with your managers one after another, maybe you need to work on managing your working relationships. How many jobs have you changed and have problems with your managers? Oh only five in these five to six years.

Don’t be jealous of me and my good relationship with others. Trust me, I hardly meet the ex managers whom you did not get along with and even when we meet, we definitely don’t talk about you. Whatever shit you hear and whoever you hear from, I hope it is not those voices in your head.

It has been more than five years since you left the big tech firm and you may want to consider moving on and stop going around in circles. I do not take accountability for your poor relationship management or work performance.

If you think I am negative by saying nothing, and is relieved about not keeping in contact with me, then you really should not be so hard on yourself by being fake trying to keep a connection.

Did you ever say a word of thanks for being recommended for a job? No, but I was not expecting one since I actually felt guilty since you were obviously unhappy and always complaining about the people and the job.

Five years ago, I felt bad because you don’t seem to be in the best condition. I was sad because I don’t understand why you blocked me and many people in all communication channels. I was happy when we reconnected but you cannot keep doing this to me by disappearing, reappear, pretend nothing ever happened and expect me to push everything aside to sooth your feathers.

You need help but sorry I can’t help you more.

Good riddance.