Happy Valentine’s Day! Hope whoever that is reading this gets what they want.

No Valentine’s Day celebration for me because it has been seven days and counting since I last had a proper conversation with the husband. This has been the longest we are at it and let’s see how long this will last.

Backstory: He had a sudden outburst and disappeared from a gathering we were hosting for our son’s playdates and parents over a Chinese New Year dinner at the function room of the condo we are staying.

From what I recalled, he wanted a ladle for soup but it was too far away but I got him a bowl but he did not touch it. Realising we did not bring enough ladle for hotpot down, he did not initiate to get it from home but I did in the middle of hosting. I reached out to him but he moved away.

WOW. What sin did I commit to warrant this behaviour? I wondered. He was cold throughout. I told him he can leave if he does not want to be there and I will not invite anyone over next time.

He did not speak to me in the few days after the incident and did not come home due to work.

The only time he got close was when he tried to initiate intimacy this morning. I pushed him away and asked if he is ready to tell me what was wrong on Saturday. He replied he thinks the guest are not initiative or does not do things automatically.

His words left me speechless and of course no intimacy from the level of stupidity from his answer.

I asked him why he thinks it is okay not to not voice out his displeasure and chose to vent his anger on me. This is lack of manners and totally disrespectful. If you cannot act like an adult, you should be treated like a child. I have no capacity to look after a man child.

I told him I am disappointed in him and his actions and reminded him I have never walked out on his family and friends at a party but host them graciously even though they are the same reasons as mentioned above.

After what happened, he chose not to communicate and acted as if nothing ever happened. I told him I could not help but wonder if he visited any places to get sexual favours days he was not home because he was angry and that was how he handle things previously.

Is it necessary to treat me this way?

You don’t treat someone like this after ten years of marriage and 12 years of relationship. I don’t think he ever respect me in the first place and spare a thought for me on the repercussions of his actions. I honestly don’t know how I can live my next 30 to 40 years like that.

When others asked me how we are after the episode I just said ok. It seemed like he cannot even make the effort to put up a united front together, so why should I be the one trying to do it when I was not the party that destroyed the relationship? I am tired of cleaning up his mess.

I use to think it is easier having a man around but now that he is frequently away from work, it has gotten easier to go on daily life without him. I can drive myself and my child everywhere. I already excluded him from holiday plans and I just started removing him from my calendar invites for playdates and other social events.

If you cannot support and stand with me, you shall not be with me.