My body has a new way of communicating with me lately, and it is not subtle. A throat that is constantly scratchy, a head that pounds, a nose that is either blocked or running, and a deep ache that no amount of massage seemed to be able to alleviate. It is telling me it has reached its limit.
I considered myself a person who thrives under pressure. However, that pressure has recently become an overwhelming burden of responsibilities, leaving no time for rest.
At work, I’ve been assigned complex new programs, and on top of that, I am taking over from a colleague who could not handle a single complex client. I initially thought I was stepping into a leadership position, but it turns out I am merely a secondary support. There is no recognition, no project leadership—just the responsibility of resolving issues when they arise. It is a frustrating and thankless role.
My real estate side business seemed to be getting more referrals, which I am incredibly thankful for. However, with each new client, there is more time to invest and better service to provide. I cannot provide substandard service when people have entrusted me with their family and friends.
Then there is my events management business. I was a “sleeping partner,” trusting my business partner to handle operations. I only stepped in to host events when needed and reinvested my earnings back into the company. So you can imagine my shock when I discovered the company was operating at a loss. A loss? With sponsors?
Now I must intervene and correct the situation, cutting unprofitable activities and strategizing a new course. My money does not grow on trees, so I have no choice but to take charge.
In addition to all this, I am trying to finish my course. Initially I thought it would be a great way to network, but most opportunities are with small to medium-sized enterprises. After years in a large corporations, I do not believe it is the right fit for me.
With a new mortgage to pay and a new home to furnish, quitting my day job is not an option. I am in this cycle: five days of work, a full day of classes, a family day, and then it all begins again.
I try to take care of myself by taking my vitamins and exercise regularly but all I truly want to do is lie down and sleep without any disturbances.
I know I am not alone in feeling this way. There are so many people who are managing multiple jobs, side businesses, family obligations, and personal goals as well.
“Listen to your body,” they say. They send us signals, and eventually, they will fail if we do not listen.
We have also been told to push ourselves to the limit. Stopping everytime there is a hiccup hinders progress.
My new challenge is this: how do I find a moment to breathe when it feels like I am drowning? Maybe I work better with pressure.
How do I tell myself it is acceptable to slow down when the world constantly urges me to speed up? I tend to become lazy when I take breaks and it gets harder to restart.
Maybe I brought all these upon myself and I deserved it.