It is probably not just mummy woes, maybe also family or social as well.

If you don’t already know, I only have one child and it is a struggle to arrange regular play dates. I stopped initiating it for a while since I felt like I’ve been taken for granted. Plus social gatherings wear me out overtime.

What other way to have regular play dates other than with his cousin and neighbour? Easy, I thought.

My neighbour was persistent in inviting my child over with me or helper to her place on evenings. Our only child was born in the same year and we are only 10 days apart so there are some commonalities.

I felt bad for not showing up sometimes until my helper told me my neighbour and her helper were busy in the kitchen preparing ingredients for her home based catering business. My helper was tasked to look after the children. WOW.

Since I hated her grill-less windows (she stay on a 11 to 12 Storeys penthouse), I stopped encouraging my son to go over to their place. Plus, I get anxiety when my son jumps around at her place. I stopped picking up her calls and only response to her invites until night time.

Sometimes this neighbour show up and disappear after 10 minutes leaving her helper and child at my place. I can’t avoid them if they show up at my door but I don’t need to go over. Sorry, I’m busy with my new place.

About family…

I have a sister who is a year older than I am and her youngest child, my youngest nephew is 2.5 years older than my son. I thought it is nice to have the cousins play together since their age is close.

The thing is, my youngest nephew is autistic. I know it is not easy to care for a special needs child and I know my sister is stressed up so I try to include my nephew for activities to alleviate her of her pent up frustrations whenever I can.

I can tell from the persistent frequent outbursts at her husband who doesn’t chip in his share of childcare as much, at her in laws that dote on her kids unconditionally and domestic helper and even my parents.

Once, twice, thrice, and n times she just sent her helper and kid for outings I initiated. I mean, I understand you need your me time, time to hang out with friends but what about me? At least have the courtesy to show up once every three times?

It is hard not to include my nephew because I believe outdoors is always good for children. I pity him when he is kept indoors most of the time. He is an angel when I am around but he is scary when overstimulated.

I know I only have one child and a helper but that does not mean I am free of all parental duties. I am a present parent.

I don’t scroll my phone when I am with my child. I send my child to school everyday. I read bedtime stories every night and I do these damn parent child bonding activities and homework with my child!

Besides, it is stressful having to be responsible for someone else’s child.

I wondered what messages or signals am I sending to make people think they can take advantage and use my resources at will. Perhaps I should reflect.