Category Archives: Adult

Adult, complain, Housing, Relationship, Thoughts, Work

Stress About Money

Just when I haven’t fully gotten over the husband giving away half an apartment, he’s at it annoying me again.

This time he made a purchase of almost 200K on a new car.

I know he has a stable job but I think he is secretly rich and has money stashed somewhere without my knowledge to be so spent thrift.

Maybe he received a hefty inheritance from my in laws.

Why am I saving pennies when he is spending money like water?

Renovation for my new place finally started and I see light at the end of the tunnel. Finally the husband can stop asking me if the contractor I engaged is legit and if we will lose our deposit. Why did I take the initiative to do anything? Shouldn’t this be a man’s responsibility?

Have I attempted to do some retail therapy. Not really but I booked a business cum birthday trip with my business partner to Bangkok in two months time.

Massages? Just finishing up the shoulder and neck package near office since I am changing job soon. My back and waist aches from the neglect.

Yesterday, I took a two hour nap after lunch while working from home, since it was a quiet day. I felt better but still lethargic and slept early at night.

Guilty? Yes but I better enjoy this before I start my new job since I will no longer have work from home days.

I already had two holidays this year but I still felt like I never went on any to truly enjoy it. One was to Sweden to visit my sister going through her own trauma and the other to Bali where I brought my sister in law to check out an investment property.

I have an upcoming family trip with my dad to visit his hometown in China. Just like the cruise last year, before we started the holiday, I’ve already spent more than 5K chipping in to prepare for rituals and welcome red packets for relatives. The whole village are relatives. WTH. I’m already exhausted thinking about it.

Sigh… The pros and cons of having educated ancestors where they documented 17 generations.

All these this stress about money…

No wonder I had been feeling down recently and unable to lift my mood despite attempts to sleep, exercise and eat right. These episodes are not helping.

“Are you ok?” The husband asked.

“I am not ok,” I responded.

He went back to dooms scrolling. End of conversation.

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Adult, complain, Housing, Investment, Money, Relationship, Thoughts

Half an Apartment

“Have you settled your parent’s place with your (elder) sister?” I asked the husband.

They should have gotten it settled since both the in laws passed away sometime back.

“Last step, need to go down to the lawyer,” he said, “Sis will continue staying there.”

“Great. She has been staying there for so long. Makes sense. Since she is taking possession of the place, does it mean you are selling your half to her,” I asked.

“No. I’m giving her everything,” he said.

I was stunned for a while.

“What if she gets married? Your half is gone you know,” I said.

“It is impossible! Everything will come to our son lah.” He said.

“You better hope she doesn’t get married or her money scammed by some other people in the next 40 years, If she falls sick, don’t expect me to help you foot her medical bills.” I said.

After I sorted out my thoughts, I asked him why he kept stressing me to keep looking for a higher paying job to fill in the income gap while he can career transit with a pay cut but yet he can be so generous in giving away half an apartment.

I reminded him my health is not good and should not be working so hard in the first place.

Plus he always commented our son is unlucky to have to look after three adults. I am sure both of them have ample funds to look after themselves and there will not be any expectations for my son to look after anyone.

Why is the husband not taking care of his own family? Me and his son.

Why am I saving every penny but while he can be so generous and give away half an apartment?

What made my blood boil was my sister in law asking me which property can she invest in since she is getting her graduaty of 100K soon and she have spare funds (I am sure it is savings from the free 50 per cent from her brother).

The more I thought of it, the more upset I got. Since our almost divorce episode, he has no access to money but an allowance and credit card.

Maybe he did it on purpose, quipped my mum.

This is not making me feel any better so I decided I should not be short changing myself and trying to save every penny don our new place anymore.

The floor is rough? Just get grouting done.

This needs painting? Sure, just do it.

What is a few hundreds and thousands compare to a half an apartment right?

Next, maybe I should quit my job, go shopping and enjoy life since I have a generous husband who can give away half an apartment freely. He must be loaded.

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Adult, Culture, Health, life, Relationship, Thoughts

Contact with My Ex

I received a random text and random call from a familiar face.

Eh, why the hell is my ex boyfriend contacting me?!

The ex whose brother my good friend married.

He is a contractor. Maybe got business in real estate..,

Me: Sorry I missed your call. What’s up?

Ex: Can I call you?

Me: Sure.

He started the call with stating he got my number from the real estate portal online and he wanted to clear any misunderstanding. My mind started to wander and I thought maybe someone was unhappy knowing our past relationship.

I thought too much and too highly of myself.

Long story short, he said he is worried and asked if I know anything about what is wrong between his brother and my good friend as they were told she did not want to visit or celebrate any occasions with their family together.

“Can you help to sound her out base on our friendship,” he asked.

I will help not because of any relationship you, it is because of my friend!

“Maybe it is stress build up from wedding in Singapore, pregnancy, then another wedding dinner in Hong Kong and being neglected during the trip,” I said, “I heard from her the trip was tough.”

This reminds me that I have not checked on my friend since the baby’s full month party.

Friend: Not much breast milk. I caught my husband shaking and screaming at my child.

I comforted her and told her it is ok and everything will be fine soon on the breast milk part. Formula is fine too.

Me: Sounds like your brother is stressed up too and also putting up a strong front.

Ex: How can we help?

Me: Maybe you can share with your brother how you deal with crying babies and being supportive of your wife? Action speaks louder than words. I already told my friend to reach out and come to me if she needs anything.

Fact is I can’t help if she does not want help. I can only show care and concern and be around.

Why am I even doing this? After all, what has other people’s family conflict and problems got to do with me?

Plus, even though there are no romantic feelings, I don’t think it is appropriate to be in contact with my ex. Do I tell my husband?

I don’t really want to be involved but I am afraid my friend may get post natal depression. Argh… Help.

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