Category Archives: Beauty

Adult, Beauty, complain, Health, life, Money

No Ugly Women Part 2: Grit Your Teeth

This has been sitting in my draft for ages and it is time it sees the day.

Back in 2015, I stareted on the journey of getting braces. I was told since young I never need it since my teeth is near and straight. I was proud of my teeth.

Fast forward years after, I had a persistent ache at the side of my jaw that did not go away.

I though I was expecting an ear infection but was told that it might be caused by my gum and I was advised to visit a dentist.

After X-ray and all those fanciful tests, I was told that my gum is degenerating and shrinking and hence causing the pain.

In those years I did not dare take pictures and smile showing my teeth because there is this particular front teeth that always looked yellow in pictures. It was a shadow but it looked like bad teeth in pictures. Bad teeth means bad hygiene and bad habits which it wasn’t! I was getting increasingly concerned.

Eventually I decided to get braces to correct my messed up teeth. I did not want metal braces as I was getting married and I wanted to look good in pictures so I opted for Invisalign.

The thing about getting your teeth corrected is, you have to wear retainers every night. I did not after losing my retainers after a long holiday and hence my front tooth started shifting inwards again and became worse after I gave birth compared to the time before I first started this journey. It costed me more than $8K and it was a year of efforts down the drain.

It was still bothering me but I didn’t want to spend another 8K on my teeth again and I dreaded the weekly dentist visits because the waiting time was longer than actual consultation.

By sheer luck, I came across an ad on Facebook from the SmileDirect Club in 2021. I booked an appointment which the staff did all the scans. I did not even get to see a dentist. It is similar to Invisalign but no frequent visits and best of all, it only cost around 2.5K.

Fast forward a year later I guess they ceased operations in Singapore and I could no longer get new retainers. No replies from any of their contact point. Guess what? My front tooth grew inwards again. I cried in pain trying to wear back the retainers because they no longer fit.

Now in 2023, a friend recommended me a supplier who supply invisible braces to dental clinics. Due to its deteriorating stage, I have to go through another cycle of correction again. I am not sure how much will the actual cost be this time but I am expecting another 2.5K down again.

Front teeth front teeth. You are proving a tat too expensive to upkeep. What do I do if I lose my retainers again?

Please please please be good to me and remain on business for good this time.

There are no ugly women.

In conclusion, if money is not a problem, everyone can be beautiful with the right upkeep. I think I might move across the border to Malaysia for cheaper self care in time to come.

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Beauty, Culture, life, Relationship, Thoughts, Work

Mother Says 04: Women Must Work

“Women must work,” she said.

Back when work from home not a thing yet, my mum was already operating a home business. A hair salon in our kitchen to be exact. I think she is a woman beyond her time.

She moved her operations from a shophouse to our home and built her network and clientele from neighbouring blocks after four kids.

It wasn’t until my siblings and I got married, had our own family before she finally revealed to us, she had been supporting the family from her earnings for the first 10 years in the marriage until dad started earning more.

Dad was a civil servant and only drawing a few hundred dollars of pay in the 70s and 80s. Being the eldest son and bearing the responsibility of taking care of the family, all his pay was handed to my grandparents to support the whole household.

A woman with no work and without money can only depend on a man that time I guess. If she don’t work, she will have to ask her in laws for money to buy milk powder. We are all girls and boys are preferred. We might have starved if mum didn’t work. I wondered why she married my dad that time.

I must say, I agree what you said mum.

Having taken two career breaks, below is what I felt:

男人说会养你是骗人的。

When a man said he will support you financially, it is BS.

他看上你不是应为你会持家，是应为你独立自主。

When both of you met, he was attracted to your independence not because you can take care of a family.

靠他的话，久而久之在他眼里独立自主有魅力的女人变了黄脸婆后，外面独立自主的女人就比较有魅力了。

After relying on a him, he will feel that you are not what you were, not making your own keeps and independent women outside will start to appeal to him more.

All men look outside, but not all take action.

After returning to full time work this time, I decided I will not take another career break or stop working anymore. I will continue to look for more side hustles.

Material wise, I can now sign any beauty package I fancy. Buy a nice handbag every now and then. It makes me happy.

Mental health wise, in the midst of busy-ness, I see and talk to people more and it has kept me my sanity.

Emotionally, I did not drown in them. I am no longer consumed by anger on my predicament and I don’t wallow in self pity.

Having our own money allows us to buy what we fancy and whoever and whatever we want without having to worry how the husband or any other people feel about it.

Having our own money, we can go out and meet our friends and not worry about how expensive going out is. Friends keep your sanity and there is no price tag on it.

Having our own money, we don’t need to bow down to anyone when we face grievances. I don’t owe you anything. You can F off if you don’t like it.

Women must work because women with money builds confidence and confidence is sexy.

Sisters, work if you can.

More about what mother said here.

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Beauty, Holiday, Housing, kids, life, Money, Relationship, Sex, Thoughts, Work

Bed of Roses: 40 YO

I turned 40 last week! Happy Birthday to me!

I spent the last hour of being 39 going around my estate to distribute my real estate flyers and spent the last few minutes was being emo, questioning about my life choices and then chilling at the nearest Coffee Bean with a Chai Latte and a piece of cake.

Looking back, I realised my life wasn’t that bad growing up. Just that I was busy playing catch up in other people’s games and expectations and I am exhausted.

At 10 years old, I was told I need to work hard and do well for my PSLE like my sister so I can get to a good school. I only wanted to go out and play and do some sports. PE was my favourite class.

At 20, I ended up in a private school to do a Bachelor. In Singapore, smart kids attend local government subsidised universities or are on local or overseas scholarships. I have been compared to my siblings my whole life at this point and I felt miserable.

I thought it’s the end if I don’t make it to local universities and I started looking for ways to earn more money. If I make more money, maybe my parents will look at me differently and love me more.

At 30, I obtained my Masters, was working in the Human Resources department and I just walked out of a failed marriage. I really wanted my own family and a man who can love and take care of me.

I met someone and I was happy for a while. Life events took a turn and I questioned everything about what I’ve been through. My 30s had been a roller coaster ride and I am glad it’s behind me.

At 40, all I can say is life is a bed of roses, literally. Beautiful on social media, pricks and thorns that hurts in areas others can’t see.

Besides sex and sperm, men are not essential. Two marriages under my belt so trust me on this.

One of my old readers wished me great orgasms. NO THANK YOU. I’ve come a long way since my now defunct erotica blog. Now, I am happier with more money. 😂

Education, career and health is your own. Don’t allow anyone else to stop you from obtaining them.

Those who told me a Bachelor is important tried to stop me from doing my Masters. Those who kept saying their company sucks are still job hoppers. Those who complained about how expensive gyms and classes are don’t even take a walk in the park.

Spend money on experiences. Budget travel stories are more interesting than expensive bags.

Stop trying to work on relationships with people who don’t value me. I decided not to initiate anymore meetups with friends like that friend who didn’t attend our recent meetup again and didn’t even show up at her in law’s one star Michelin restaurant when I went to pass her Christmas presents for her kids. Not even a thank you text.

I am not that hard up for friendship and I am happy to go out and have a blast with whoever that enjoys my company.

Spend time, money and energy on my mind, body and soul. Yoga classes, beauty salons and Buddhist lessons. It got to be a full package. Oh Ohm…

Do my best as a parent. Kiddo will grow up and leave eventually. I will provide what I can and nurture him until he reaches adulthood. Everything else after that is on him. All I want him to remember is mummy loves him.

Work to live. Not live to work. Full time work has been crazy last year so I should try to take a break during off peak when I can. Hence, I will take more three hours hotpot lunch and spend a whole day at the onsen while “working from home” from now on. If it is not urgent, it can be done later.

Having been part of a HR team that dealt with retrenchment, a permanent job doesn’t mean you will be employed till retirement. It means you are still needed to make money for the company in the foreseeable future.

Money gives me security. I will keep working and keep investing to grow my retirement funds and possibly plan to live the rest of my years on a beach operating a yoga studio and cafe that serves vegetarian food and fruit juices or at least have a beach holiday yearly (Batam also can).

Seems like my glass is half empty at 40. Anyway, I hate roses.

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