Category Archives: Friends

Adult, Beauty, Friends, life, Relationship, Thoughts

Natural Beauty

Define “natural”. Is it the personality, the actual persona or the face that has not gone under the knife?

What about aesthetic treatments like thread lifting, botox, fillers and in my case, micro-needling?

What about eyebrow embroidery, eyeliner tattoo, lip tattoo and eyelash extensions?

Even contact lenses can enhance the size of eyeballs and colours.

In this day and age, I don’t know who is a raw natural beauty anymore.

I have two cliques from the airline which I kept in close contact and met up recently.

One group is the down to earth gang who have no qualms about meeting up with no make up, glasses, t-shirt and shorts whereas the other group who will never be caught dead in the former group’s outfit and bare faces.

During my recent gathering with the latter group, I thought someone started picking up sewing when I heard “thread”. Silly me.

The discussion started getting more in depth on the scale of invasive procedures they have gone through as I listened in horror and admire the courage people go through to look good.

With a circle like that, I can only say I am confident of how I look to not get plastic surgery yet. I did not even feel depressed in a room full of skinny good looking people. I am fat but fit and I want to age gracefully.

If people talk about size I will tell them I am the slimmest among my siblings. I probably exercise more and not eat rubbish but I am not winning against the fight with genetics.

If people talk about going for plastic surgery, I am genuinely curious and would like to know more about eye lift but I will mention how shallow my pocket is. No one work three jobs.

When I was in my 30s, I said I will go for removal of my eye bags when I turn 40. I am already 42 and I have not even done any research.

If I do go for anything it will be because I want to like what I see in the mirror, not because I want to be the best looking person in the room.

I am already afraid of the pain from my micro-needling sessions. Even eyebrow embroidery hurts.

“This is the last chance to look your best,” my friend said.

Yes I know how good I can look with all these enhancements but I’ll think about it again and keep it natural for now.

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Adult, Friends, life, Relationship, Romance, Thoughts

Brother of the Groom

“Hey,” he then called my name and reached out his hand for a handshake.

“Hey,” I responded, looked into his eye, smiled and added, “Long time no see.”

“How have you been?”

This was how I meet my ex boyfriend after almost 20 years. Whatever feelings would have been gone by now, I thought.

Backstory: It’s a Small World Afterall, Revelation

“How have you been,” is possibly what we want to hear from each other directly but superficial because we probably heard about each other since the bride is my good friend and the groom is your brother.

Do you really want to know? The best way to catch up is over a cup of coffee or a glass of whiskey but it would be impossible given the circumstances.

I actually heard from the bride there was a minor discussion between the groom and his brother if it is necessary to invite me as a guest but the bride insisted on my presence so there I was.

我曾想我们面对面看到彼此会什么反应。寒暄了几句，很多话想说却什么都没说。I often imagined how meeting you again would be. So many things to say but yet I said nothing at all.

当晚没什么感觉，毕竟都过了二十年。就以为会一直会没感觉，过了几天听了听歌，读了读歌词就掉了掉几滴眼泪。I thought I felt numb and celebrated it but slowly it crept upon me while listening to songs on my Spotify playlist the next few days.

Lyrics to song #1 on how I felt.

汪峰《当我想你的时候》

至少有十年我不曾流泪 (I haven’t cried in at least 10 years)

至少有十首歌给我安慰 (There were at least 10 songs that gave me comfort)

可现在的我我莫名的哭泣 (But I am unconsciously crying now)

Deliberately left out the last line because I don’t miss him (anymore). It was hard for the two years after the breakup but not anymore. Time really heal all wounds.

Lyrics to song #2 on how I felt.

田馥甄 《小幸运》

爱上你的时候还不懂感情 (I didn’t know it was love when I fell for you)

离别了才知道刻骨铭心 (Unforgettable after we parted)

。。。

与你相遇好幸运 (Lucky to have met you)

可我已失去为你泪流满面的权利 (But I lost the right to cry over you)

但愿在我看不到的天际你张开了双翼 (Hope you are well and soaring in areas I can’t see)

遇见你的注定 她会有多幸运？(She is lucky to be your destined)

After some exchange, I saw his dad and said I should go say hi. He came along and reintroduced me to his dad as his ex after I introduced myself as a friend of the bride.

眼泪多半是因为遗憾。遗憾没有缘成为一家人。The bride told me her father in law asked about me the next day. I guess my tears were for the regret that they are the in laws I never had. I’ve never sat down and drank a pot of tea brewed by my father in law, nor had a meal prepared by my mother in law like I did with them.

Everything is fated and this is life.

I stepped away discreetly when I noticed a crowd was building up. Put on my best smile, did my own thing and tried not to sneak peeks over during dinner.

Despite not being able to lose any weight, and I added 20 years of 女人味 and 20 kilograms since he last met me, I believed I managed to leave an impression and felt good about the wedding.

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Adult, complain, Friends, life, Relationship, Work

That Friend 18: Good Riddance

Nov 2023

Me: (Morning) Hey, where are we meeting later?

Me: (Afternoon) Any cravings?

Me: (Evening) I will be off work soon. Are we still meeting?

Me: CALLS x 3

Me: Hey babe, I haven’t heard from you and not sure what’s going on. I am heading home now.

This was how I got ghosted twice by the same person (first time was in 2019), so I was not too sure how I should feel when she reached out again this time after disappearing for almost a year.

She said she went overseas to work. Why did you arrange a dinner a week before then?

I did not want to let it slide this time because I made efforts to clear my calendar only to have my time disrespected. She is a single woman and I have a young child.

“Oh I must have missed your messages,” she responded.

Not convincing and I did not believe a word at all and I gave short replies thereafter.

She then came back with long messages saying how she did not feel I support her about the managers she did not get along well with but whom I love, respected and worked very well with in 2018.

Background: SHE REPLACED ME after I left for permanent employment. I recommended her for my job because she said she could not get along with her manager and is looking for another job.

Then, I chose not to go back to do the same role to replace her (2019) after her contract as I had another offer at the same company.

A week ago, after trying to chat and getting not much response from me, she added she will not contact me anymore as I do not empathise with her recent unemployment, not on her side with our ex managers, and she does not need negativity in her life.

*scratch head* I did not even know she was unemployed since we did not even have much of an exchange.

I guess the only thing I did wrong was to recommend you to a job when you needed one. I am sure working at a big tech company did nothing to help you in securing better paying roles thereafter.

What can I support you with? If you think I will join and talk shit about people who have been nothing but kind to me, then I am the wrong person to expect that from.

If you always can’t work well with your managers one after another, maybe you need to work on managing your working relationships. How many jobs have you changed and have problems with your managers? Oh only five in these five to six years.

Don’t be jealous of me and my good relationship with others. Trust me, I hardly meet the ex managers whom you did not get along with and even when we meet, we definitely don’t talk about you. Whatever shit you hear and whoever you hear from, I hope it is not those voices in your head.

It has been more than five years since you left the big tech firm and you may want to consider moving on and stop going around in circles. I do not take accountability for your poor relationship management or work performance.

If you think I am negative by saying nothing, and is relieved about not keeping in contact with me, then you really should not be so hard on yourself by being fake trying to keep a connection.

Did you ever say a word of thanks for being recommended for a job? No, but I was not expecting one since I actually felt guilty since you were obviously unhappy and always complaining about the people and the job.

Five years ago, I felt bad because you don’t seem to be in the best condition. I was sad because I don’t understand why you blocked me and many people in all communication channels. I was happy when we reconnected but you cannot keep doing this to me by disappearing, reappear, pretend nothing ever happened and expect me to push everything aside to sooth your feathers.

You need help but sorry I can’t help you more.

Good riddance.

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