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Relationship

Mummy Woes 15: Free Childcare?

It is probably not just mummy woes, maybe also family or social as well.

If you don’t already know, I only have one child and it is a struggle to arrange regular play dates. I stopped initiating it for a while since I felt like I’ve been taken for granted. Plus social gatherings wear me out overtime.

What other way to have regular play dates other than with his cousin and neighbour? Easy, I thought.

My neighbour was persistent in inviting my child over with me or helper to her place on evenings. Our only child was born in the same year and we are only 10 days apart so there are some commonalities.

I felt bad for not showing up sometimes until my helper told me my neighbour and her helper were busy in the kitchen preparing ingredients for her home based catering business. My helper was tasked to look after the children. WOW.

Since I hated her grill-less windows (she stay on a 11 to 12 Storeys penthouse), I stopped encouraging my son to go over to their place. Plus, I get anxiety when my son jumps around at her place. I stopped picking up her calls and only response to her invites until night time.

Sometimes this neighbour show up and disappear after 10 minutes leaving her helper and child at my place. I can’t avoid them if they show up at my door but I don’t need to go over. Sorry, I’m busy with my new place.

About family…

I have a sister who is a year older than I am and her youngest child, my youngest nephew is 2.5 years older than my son. I thought it is nice to have the cousins play together since their age is close.

The thing is, my youngest nephew is autistic. I know it is not easy to care for a special needs child and I know my sister is stressed up so I try to include my nephew for activities to alleviate her of her pent up frustrations whenever I can.

I can tell from the persistent frequent outbursts at her husband who doesn’t chip in his share of childcare as much, at her in laws that dote on her kids unconditionally and domestic helper and even my parents.

Once, twice, thrice, and n times she just sent her helper and kid for outings I initiated. I mean, I understand you need your me time, time to hang out with friends but what about me? At least have the courtesy to show up once every three times?

It is hard not to include my nephew because I believe outdoors is always good for children. I pity him when he is kept indoors most of the time. He is an angel when I am around but he is scary when overstimulated.

I know I only have one child and a helper but that does not mean I am free of all parental duties. I am a present parent.

I don’t scroll my phone when I am with my child. I send my child to school everyday. I read bedtime stories every night and I do these damn parent child bonding activities and homework with my child!

Besides, it is stressful having to be responsible for someone else’s child.

I wondered what messages or signals am I sending to make people think they can take advantage and use my resources at will. Perhaps I should reflect.

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Relationship

The Last D&D

“Cheers. Maybe this is the last time we come out and have fun like this as a department,” said my colleague while clinking on my wine glass.

“This is definitely the last time because I am handling my resignation next week once I receive my offer letter,” I replied.

Turns out she has an interview next week and I wished her all the best. I’ve known she is going to be placed on Performance Improvement Plan for a while and she is just buying time.

For me, I’ve been trying to get a new job since March last year and this job came as a referral from my classmate to take over his role while he transit into another one. I was offered the role on the spot.

Days before this, I went for another interview referred from an ex colleague. That was my ideal role and industry but I am not sure how long it will take.

Either way, I need to serve two months notice so the sooner I hand in my resignation, the better it is.

The irony is I can teach people how to write CVs and prepare for interviews but I don’t actually get call backs. Both job interviews I attended were not even advertised in the market yet.

This proves no matter how many applications sent, ultimately relying on network is very important.

I enjoyed the year end dinner and dance party very much and I will be sad to leave the nice people I work and get along with, but they don’t pay the bills.

Cheers to a good end of the work year and better job next year. 🥂

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Relationship

Mummy Woes 08: Pre-schooler Homework

Preschoolers should not be given any homework or assignments or any school related activities after school hours.

At this age, they should be out playing under the sun or rain or wind or any weather. Not be given homework or any assignment of that matter.

You know what happens when notifications from school informing parents on pending assignments to be handed in on certain dates?

Parents end up doing it!

Most recently, we were asked to make decorations for Lunar New Year with our child under the guise of festive season and bonding with child excuse.

Guess what? There is show and tell session where they can share with the class how they make the craft.

EXCUSE ME? Tsk. I am already a happy mum if my son does not scream and shout when I switch the tv off at home.

I hope the educators are happy when my child tell them, “I helped pulled off the double sided tape.” (Provided my almost 4 years old boy can articulate this.)

Come handing in assignment day, I thought the lantern we made was good enough since I added a LED light in it but other kids started showing up with dragons, calligraphy and bigger, glossier lanterns.

Do I feel guilty or jealous that others can make better craft? Not at all. I am damn proud that I did not let him go to school empty handed.

This should not be a competition because nothing at this age needs to be a competition.

Son, maybe your classmate will be a lantern or craft master in future. It is perfectly okay if you are not cut out to be one. Take your time to figure your life out.

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